My Life In The Closet – Things That Have Made My Sex Life Easier

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So, let’s be real. Having sex and also cleaning up can be a real pain as someone who lives in a house where sex and sex ed is a taboo subject. I’ve come across some things that have made my life easier, however:

  1. Mambe outdoor blankets as a sex blanket – now, I own a Liberator blanket, and it’s lovely, but it’s also expensive and slippery and crinkly. It’s not the most practical either, washing it in the laundry is an absolute pain because it gets waterlogged. However, the Mambe, a practical outdoor blanket, is cheaper, quieter, and easier overall to deal with. It has one side that is made to be on the grass or ground, and a fleecy side that you are meant to sit on. It is in every way, better than an expensive Liberator, for less money. By all means, a sex blanket is absolutely not a necessity, but it is a very handy luxury if you can afford it, and it works better than a towel to capture fluids, lube, and all other juices.
  2. Intimate wipes – Getting off while living in a shared space means that sometimes I can’t get my toys to the bathroom to clean up everything right away. Intimate wipes (or even baby wipes would work for this) are an easy, quick way to clean up most off the mess off of myself and off of my toys, and tide me over til I can sneak to the bathroom in the middle of the night to wash them.
  3. Sex toy cleaner – this is absolutely not an essential, but it is something that I find very helpful. I’m quite a fan of Jo’s Foaming Toy Cleaner. Does soap and water do the trick? Yes. But I am not a fan of my toys smelling of Bath and Body Works, so I like the neutralness of the toy cleaner instead, sometimes, and the peace of mind it provides.
  4. Condoms – I love nitrile condoms because they play nicely with everything, and make for wonderfully easy cleanup after play – just pull off the condom, and you’re good to go.
  5. Corded toys – Hunting for batteries when you’re horny is a pain (and weird because you might get asked what you need batteries for – or, if you’re my house, you’re constantly out of batteries), and I consistently forget to charge rechargeable toys. My corded Doxy wand is my absolute best friend. 
  6. Sugar Saks and other pretty fabric storage bags – These are excellent for hiding things in plain sight, in bags that look innocent enough and can hold more than one toy, so that it’s not obvious what’s in them. I use them for so many different reasons from travel to storage.
  7. Soak lingerie wash or Eucalan – not necessarily a sex essential, but I have a large collection of lingerie, and I want them to last as much as possible – and not also toss pieces in the wash that I don’t want my family to see. Soak and Eucalan are excellent because you simply fill a tub or bucket with water, soak your delicates in there, squeeze, and hang to dry and allow me to launder my naughtier things and then hang them in my bedroom to dry, out of sight. I’ve also taken Soak on my travels and filled up a bathtub to do a large volume of laundry, and it worked incredibly well.

Sound off in the comments – what are things that have made your sex life easier?

Where’s The Desi Vibes?

It has been a long, hard road.

I started TDV while in the thick of university, and boy howdy was that a bad idea. I am admittedly someone that, when no one else will do the thing, I will do it myself. Sometimes this works out, sometimes it gets me into trouble.

Sustaining my degree as well as TDV was impossible. I was wearing too many hats, and something had to give.

To make matters even more complicated, let’s talk about mental health and the journey I have been on:

It’s likely been about 4+ years now that I’ve actively been treating my mental illnesses, though my theory is that I have been very ill for a very long time but never reached the point where it was debilitating until I hit university. I’ve undergone various therapies and finally, over the summer, I started medication. It has changed my life in the best of ways. The Irene that was at ConvergeCon was still fresh to her medications, and still very shy and nervous. Impostor syndrome sucks. It took a number of months for me to start feeling better, and even longer to actually get to a point where I wasn’t struggling to be productive. And, once I got to that point, it was essential that I finished my degree, and here we are today.

So, I’ve accomplished a lot in the past year, I’d say, between a fuller recovery than ever before, and finally finishing my degree. It feels like I can breathe again a little. Life continues to throw difficult familial situations at me, but I feel more prepared than ever before to deal with my life.

I want TDV to return. I don’t know what it’ll look like when I’m back, but I plan to keep drafting and trying to write until something finally feels good enough to publish. I may even change writing platforms.

I want to be an educator, but I don’t feel safe or sometimes even welcome in educator circles. I feel like I’ve let myself and others down, and it’s been hard to be brave and take up writing again.

I make no promises, but this is me trying.


Irene Leonis

If You’re Seeing This, Welcome To The Desi Vibes!

It’s official, folx! At long last, The Desi Vibes blog is here!!! Get excited!

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Get ready for lots of masti (aka fun!), masala, sex, kink, feminism, Bollywood gifs, and so much more! I am so thrilled to be able to write for you all, and I’m looking forward to this journey with you!

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Also, if you decide you love what I’m doing, I’d appreciate it if you’d Buy Me A Coffee/Latte/Cuppa/Hot Chocolate! 😉 All proceeds will go towards improving the blog. ❤

That’s all I’ve got for now, see you around the blog!

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Lots of love,

Irene Leonis – Creator and Writer of The Desi Vibes