The Butters: Body Scrubs!

I loved the lube that I got from The Butters so much that I really wanted to try more of their stuff and I love a good body scrub to keep me feeling smooth and sexy, so here’s a review of not one but TWO body scrubs from The Butters to keep you feeling soft – namely, the Caramel Macchiato scrub, and the Calendula x Chamomile scrub. I’m personally a fan of coarser scrubs that feel like they’re giving me a deep clean over finer scrubs, so the Caramel Macchiato is a personal favourite that I’m fairly certain I will no longer be able to live without, but there are some things that make the Calendula x Chamomile scrub just as great too! Both jars came packed with product – these are slightly dryer, looser scrubs, for lack of a better descriptor, and so you might find it easier to keep a spoon or something nearby to assist in scooping the product out as it doesn’t really “clump” together.


First up, the Calendula x Chamomile scrub is described as a medium scrub (I’d say it’s leaning towards medium-fine as the primary scrubbing agent is white sugar) and is best for the face, lips, feet, and hands – basically, spots where a coarser scrub probably isn’t a good idea, though you can use the scrub anywhere on the body. The scrub also features aromatherapy effects when you’re in the shower thanks to the essential oils that are in the jar. It wasn’t personally my cup of tea, as the smell reminded me quite a bit of an herbal-but-somehow-minty-like-camphor type smell, but I can see how it would be very soothing for someone who likes this sort of smell. Chamomile is known for its soothing properties but calendula, I learned, is also an anti-viral and anti-inflammatory herb. Overall, this is a scrub that’s great for your mind and body, and I found that it lasted fairly well in the shower. Unlike what the instructions say about getting the scrub wet, I just scooped some out and applied it directly to wet skin. It felt like the sugar dissolved after a little while of scrubbing, but that’s not a bad thing! So, while this scrub wasn’t entirely my jam, I definitely still find myself reaching for it when I want a slightly finer scrub than the Caramel Macchiato.


Speaking of the Caramel Macchiato, this thing is my new favourite. I don’t quite smell the caramel, but I do smell the macchiato part of its name! It’s a coarser, grittier scrub than the Calendula x Chamomile one, thanks to the brown sugar, sea salt, and coffee grounds inside and I absolutely love that. I found myself feeling super silky and sexy after my shower. I was fascinated on the website to see that this scrub was described as being good for cleansing and moisturising the vulva, as well as the booty, lips, and legs, so I absolutely tried it on my booty and it felt great! I also plan on testing out, CAREFULLY, if this is good for the outermost part of vulvas too. I definitely used more than the recommended amount, because I just couldn’t get enough of the scrub! This scrub also features agave, which is very hydrating for the skin. I really loved the coffee smell, and I think it really brightened up my shower experience overall. I also felt that because of the ground coffee, I could scrub for a lot longer, as the scrub didn’t dissolve entirely when applied to wet skin. I’ve tried numerous scrubs in the past, from sea salt and oil mixes to coarse sugar scrubs, other coffee-based scrubs and everything in between, but I really do think this is going to be my scrub of choice for a looooong time now. It’s just the right mix of exfoliating and softening for me.


These scrubs are very different from one another, but I recommend trying them both out to see which one you like best – The Butters is incredible value, with their little jars priced at $8. Plus, you’re supporting a Black, queer-owned business producing some really incredible products that are honestly probably replacing some previous favourites of mine from another cosmetics chain.  There are also a number of other scrubs on their website if neither of these feels like quite your jam, such as a honey and grits scrub, a mojito themed sugar and lime scrub, and a few more! There’s even a scrub lovers gift pack, perfect for people like me who want a little bit of everything – and it’s even better bang for your buck, so you have no excuse to get your scrub on. The Butters, take all of my money and send me to scrub heaven, please! I can’t wait to order more from them!

My Life In The Closet – Things That Have Made My Sex Life Easier

Reminder: All posts go live on the Patreon first and you should support TDV there!

So, let’s be real. Having sex and also cleaning up can be a real pain as someone who lives in a house where sex and sex ed is a taboo subject. I’ve come across some things that have made my life easier, however:

  1. Mambe outdoor blankets as a sex blanket – now, I own a Liberator blanket, and it’s lovely, but it’s also expensive and slippery and crinkly. It’s not the most practical either, washing it in the laundry is an absolute pain because it gets waterlogged. However, the Mambe, a practical outdoor blanket, is cheaper, quieter, and easier overall to deal with. It has one side that is made to be on the grass or ground, and a fleecy side that you are meant to sit on. It is in every way, better than an expensive Liberator, for less money. By all means, a sex blanket is absolutely not a necessity, but it is a very handy luxury if you can afford it, and it works better than a towel to capture fluids, lube, and all other juices.
  2. Intimate wipes – Getting off while living in a shared space means that sometimes I can’t get my toys to the bathroom to clean up everything right away. Intimate wipes (or even baby wipes would work for this) are an easy, quick way to clean up most off the mess off of myself and off of my toys, and tide me over til I can sneak to the bathroom in the middle of the night to wash them.
  3. Sex toy cleaner – this is absolutely not an essential, but it is something that I find very helpful. I’m quite a fan of Jo’s Foaming Toy Cleaner. Does soap and water do the trick? Yes. But I am not a fan of my toys smelling of Bath and Body Works, so I like the neutralness of the toy cleaner instead, sometimes, and the peace of mind it provides.
  4. Condoms – I love nitrile condoms because they play nicely with everything, and make for wonderfully easy cleanup after play – just pull off the condom, and you’re good to go.
  5. Corded toys – Hunting for batteries when you’re horny is a pain (and weird because you might get asked what you need batteries for – or, if you’re my house, you’re constantly out of batteries), and I consistently forget to charge rechargeable toys. My corded Doxy wand is my absolute best friend. 
  6. Sugar Saks and other pretty fabric storage bags – These are excellent for hiding things in plain sight, in bags that look innocent enough and can hold more than one toy, so that it’s not obvious what’s in them. I use them for so many different reasons from travel to storage.
  7. Soak lingerie wash or Eucalan – not necessarily a sex essential, but I have a large collection of lingerie, and I want them to last as much as possible – and not also toss pieces in the wash that I don’t want my family to see. Soak and Eucalan are excellent because you simply fill a tub or bucket with water, soak your delicates in there, squeeze, and hang to dry and allow me to launder my naughtier things and then hang them in my bedroom to dry, out of sight. I’ve also taken Soak on my travels and filled up a bathtub to do a large volume of laundry, and it worked incredibly well.

Sound off in the comments – what are things that have made your sex life easier?

The Butters Cocoa Butter Lube Review

Reminder: All posts go live early on my Patreon and you should go support it!

I want to thank The Butters for approaching me and generously sending me their cocoa butter lube for review. I’m a huge fan of my Sliquid lube, but I think this one might just be my new favourite. I admit that I was highly skeptical at first, but I am pleased to report that I’m thoroughly impressed with this product, and I have no idea how The Butters came up with this stroke of genius.


Let’s start with what’s written on the jar: The cocoa butter lube is a blend of organic cocoa, shea, and coconut butters, aloe, grapeseed, olive oil, a little apple cider vinegar, and vitamin c and e, as well as guar bean and potassium sorbate. Not sure why my orifices (as they put it) need vitamins, but I appreciate it. The jar states that this product is 100% vegan, and never tested on animals. It also has a pH of 4, which is important to know for vagina-havers in particular – the pH of the vagina can range from 3.5 – 7. There’s an expiry date right on the jar, which I appreciate, and it also notes that it’s good til the oil turns brown or smells stale – remember if anything you’re using on your bits looks or smells different than it used to, THROW IT AWAY. 


What really fascinates me is claims such as “less irritation, UTIs, and yeast infections vs no lube, water based, silicone and oil based lubes (somehow, this lube is a butter but not an oil based lube?), and that this was user reported. I’ll let you be the judge of how much of that you want to believe.


I do love that it is long lasting, like the jar claims, and that it is “good for all orifices and love styles, including solo play” (which was how I tested it). I can definitely see how this lube would be great for anal play in particular, and I’m glad it’s also safe for oral play as well as vaginal. 

It also claims to be compatible with silicone, metal, glass, PVC, sil a gel, lambskin, polyurethane and nitrile (useful to know for toy material and condom use). This lube is NOT compatible with latex, which isn’t a problem for me at all. I was skeptical at first, but not a single one of my toys (all body safe, mind you) was damaged in use with this lube, so it is what it says it is.


I discovered upon investigating on their website that The Butters is also a 100% a black queer owned business – and that’s definitely a plus in my book! They describe the cocoa butter lube as “slick, luxe, soy & palm free”. They also offer a lot of other cosmetic, bath, and body products, so there’s a huge variety of things to check out including two other lubes, a high viscosity lube called Palm Grease, and an aloe and shea butter lube (it’s their #1 all time product and it’s all purpose? For $8? I’m really curious about this.).


In use I found that this lube didn’t feel like it dried up or dispersed as quickly as something like my Sliquid lube, which I still adore, but this just seems to stay put and last a little longer and remained a little slicker for me, which I love. Because this is a butter, it can be applied onto your favourite toy or, wherever really, as a solid product and warmed up with body heat. I much prefer that over lubes that tend to drip all over the place – this lube stays put. This lube is also really great for anal play in particular for all of these reasons. I was not able to test this in partnered play, and I am incredibly curious to see how it works for my partner and me in the future. A little goes a long way with this lube – and this 4oz jar is packed with product, so it’ll last you a very long time. It has a very slight nutty smell that I don’t notice in use (only in the jar, unlike coconut oil, which I can definitely smell in use), and a minimal salty kind of taste that shouldn’t be too noticeable either (yes, I tasted it for science). 


In terms of price point, this lube is listed on their menu as being $10. I think, for the amount of product you’re getting and how little you need, this is an absolutely phenomenal price and great value for money. I’ve barely dented the surface of this jar of lube in the month I’ve had to play with it. Overall, I’m a huge fan of this lube and I will absolutely continue to reach for it, especially for longer play sessions. It’s now a fixture of my nightstand. I highly recommend that you check it out too!


Important links to check out: 

The Big Lube Guide By Dangerous Lilly:


Thank you once again to The Butters for sending me this lube for free, and for giving me the opportunity to review this badass lube with full honesty.

Funkit Toys Mega Review!

Reminder: Patrons in my $10+ tier get early access to all reviews!

I want to feature Funkit Toys today – Kenton is an incredible human being and one who invested in me when I decided to first start The Desi Vibes. I’ve been lucky to be a patron of a few of his products, so here’s a list of just a few that I’ve tried!

Rainbow Swing

The Swing is an amazing handle – Funkit Toys (with the exception of the NoFrillDo line) are all modular – you can stick two together via the very clever suction cups, and they won’t budge. I’ve even been able to get my Swing to connect to one of my NoFrillDo’s flat bases, though that definitely likely isn’t the most sturdy connection. The sides of the round suction cup also fold down to create more of a handle at the base of the toy for insertion. For me, personally, this toy is one that I prefer to use as a handle, but also definitely might be a great fit for someone that wants a toy that is thicker at the top.

Funkit Beat Cleaver

Oh my God, I have never loved an impact toy more. I want two of them so that I can have one wherever I go. The brilliance of this design is that it is waste-minimal when it comes to materials, which is a bonus that I adore. There’s a sharper point on the handle near where the thumb sits that can also be used to poke or scratch at your willing impact play bottom. The cleaver is very much a thuddy impact paddle – and it’s entirely my jam.

No Frill Do Series 1

Kenton was kind enough to send me all three NoFrillDos, and I love them! What is an NFD, you ask? Well, according to Funkit’s website, “NoFrillDo is the ‘Cup Ramen with Veggies and an Egg’ of dildos. If you can afford a fancier dildo, support the creation of fancier dildos. It’s worth it. If not, though? I think you should be able to buy a safe, non-toxic sex toy without worrying about rent.” This is hugely important because there’s a distinct lack of (although this is slowly improving) affordable silicone sex toys. We deserve toys that are non toxic (and you can click here to read more about toxic toys and why you should switch to silicone).

I love that Kenton specifically also states that NFDs just need soap. Nothing fancy. It’s true, all of my silicone comes clean with just soap.

Now, onwards to the designs. R is described as “[a] Helical design, fun texture for rotation and penetration”. Now, I didn’t find the rotation terribly exciting, but the helical nature of this toy does give it quite a bit of flex. It also just feels very lovely, and can kinda almost slide up into the A-spot zone for my body.

The G is a straight dildo with a slight curve for g-spot or prostate stimulation, and while it’s a simple toy, it is effective. For folx looking for an affordable option, this is a good one.

The B is the thickest one of the three, with two bumps on the side. This one feels really good to me for g-spot stimulation, as well as just a really great sensation when thrusting, and is probably the one I reach for the most of the three.

No Frill Do Series 2 in X

The X is a thicker, ribbed dildo, and it is really lovely for a fuller feeling and a lot of lovely sensation when thrusting. My one critique of these is the angle at the base – yes, this is a no-frills dildo and therefore not anal safe or proven harness compatibility or anything of the sort. It’s a what you see is what you get sort of deal. But the angled nature of the base frustrates me because it is not only unnecessary (Series 1 had straight, flat bottoms), I feel like it makes the S2 a little more harness unfriendly than need be. Yes, these are not harness tested, or made for harnesses – but people are gonna try and use these in a harness, and I worry that the angle will hinder that. I have tried this on in my harness, but I have yet to try it in play with someone. The website also notes that these NFDs are indeed not anal compatible.

So there you have it!! Go give Funkit Toys some major love – they deserve it.


This post was released early on my Patreon – please do go support it to make The Desi Vibes possible.