My Life In The Closet – Things That Have Made My Sex Life Easier

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So, let’s be real. Having sex and also cleaning up can be a real pain as someone who lives in a house where sex and sex ed is a taboo subject. I’ve come across some things that have made my life easier, however:

  1. Mambe outdoor blankets as a sex blanket – now, I own a Liberator blanket, and it’s lovely, but it’s also expensive and slippery and crinkly. It’s not the most practical either, washing it in the laundry is an absolute pain because it gets waterlogged. However, the Mambe, a practical outdoor blanket, is cheaper, quieter, and easier overall to deal with. It has one side that is made to be on the grass or ground, and a fleecy side that you are meant to sit on. It is in every way, better than an expensive Liberator, for less money. By all means, a sex blanket is absolutely not a necessity, but it is a very handy luxury if you can afford it, and it works better than a towel to capture fluids, lube, and all other juices.
  2. Intimate wipes – Getting off while living in a shared space means that sometimes I can’t get my toys to the bathroom to clean up everything right away. Intimate wipes (or even baby wipes would work for this) are an easy, quick way to clean up most off the mess off of myself and off of my toys, and tide me over til I can sneak to the bathroom in the middle of the night to wash them.
  3. Sex toy cleaner – this is absolutely not an essential, but it is something that I find very helpful. I’m quite a fan of Jo’s Foaming Toy Cleaner. Does soap and water do the trick? Yes. But I am not a fan of my toys smelling of Bath and Body Works, so I like the neutralness of the toy cleaner instead, sometimes, and the peace of mind it provides.
  4. Condoms – I love nitrile condoms because they play nicely with everything, and make for wonderfully easy cleanup after play – just pull off the condom, and you’re good to go.
  5. Corded toys – Hunting for batteries when you’re horny is a pain (and weird because you might get asked what you need batteries for – or, if you’re my house, you’re constantly out of batteries), and I consistently forget to charge rechargeable toys. My corded Doxy wand is my absolute best friend. 
  6. Sugar Saks and other pretty fabric storage bags – These are excellent for hiding things in plain sight, in bags that look innocent enough and can hold more than one toy, so that it’s not obvious what’s in them. I use them for so many different reasons from travel to storage.
  7. Soak lingerie wash or Eucalan – not necessarily a sex essential, but I have a large collection of lingerie, and I want them to last as much as possible – and not also toss pieces in the wash that I don’t want my family to see. Soak and Eucalan are excellent because you simply fill a tub or bucket with water, soak your delicates in there, squeeze, and hang to dry and allow me to launder my naughtier things and then hang them in my bedroom to dry, out of sight. I’ve also taken Soak on my travels and filled up a bathtub to do a large volume of laundry, and it worked incredibly well.

Sound off in the comments – what are things that have made your sex life easier?

The Butters Cocoa Butter Lube Review

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I want to thank The Butters for approaching me and generously sending me their cocoa butter lube for review. I’m a huge fan of my Sliquid lube, but I think this one might just be my new favourite. I admit that I was highly skeptical at first, but I am pleased to report that I’m thoroughly impressed with this product, and I have no idea how The Butters came up with this stroke of genius.

 

Let’s start with what’s written on the jar: The cocoa butter lube is a blend of organic cocoa, shea, and coconut butters, aloe, grapeseed, olive oil, a little apple cider vinegar, and vitamin c and e, as well as guar bean and potassium sorbate. Not sure why my orifices (as they put it) need vitamins, but I appreciate it. The jar states that this product is 100% vegan, and never tested on animals. It also has a pH of 4, which is important to know for vagina-havers in particular – the pH of the vagina can range from 3.5 – 7. There’s an expiry date right on the jar, which I appreciate, and it also notes that it’s good til the oil turns brown or smells stale – remember if anything you’re using on your bits looks or smells different than it used to, THROW IT AWAY. 

 

What really fascinates me is claims such as “less irritation, UTIs, and yeast infections vs no lube, water based, silicone and oil based lubes (somehow, this lube is a butter but not an oil based lube?), and that this was user reported. I’ll let you be the judge of how much of that you want to believe.

 

I do love that it is long lasting, like the jar claims, and that it is “good for all orifices and love styles, including solo play” (which was how I tested it). I can definitely see how this lube would be great for anal play in particular, and I’m glad it’s also safe for oral play as well as vaginal. 

It also claims to be compatible with silicone, metal, glass, PVC, sil a gel, lambskin, polyurethane and nitrile (useful to know for toy material and condom use). This lube is NOT compatible with latex, which isn’t a problem for me at all. I was skeptical at first, but not a single one of my toys (all body safe, mind you) was damaged in use with this lube, so it is what it says it is.

 

I discovered upon investigating on their website that The Butters is also a 100% a black queer owned business – and that’s definitely a plus in my book! They describe the cocoa butter lube as “slick, luxe, soy & palm free”. They also offer a lot of other cosmetic, bath, and body products, so there’s a huge variety of things to check out including two other lubes, a high viscosity lube called Palm Grease, and an aloe and shea butter lube (it’s their #1 all time product and it’s all purpose? For $8? I’m really curious about this.).

 

In use I found that this lube didn’t feel like it dried up or dispersed as quickly as something like my Sliquid lube, which I still adore, but this just seems to stay put and last a little longer and remained a little slicker for me, which I love. Because this is a butter, it can be applied onto your favourite toy or, wherever really, as a solid product and warmed up with body heat. I much prefer that over lubes that tend to drip all over the place – this lube stays put. This lube is also really great for anal play in particular for all of these reasons. I was not able to test this in partnered play, and I am incredibly curious to see how it works for my partner and me in the future. A little goes a long way with this lube – and this 4oz jar is packed with product, so it’ll last you a very long time. It has a very slight nutty smell that I don’t notice in use (only in the jar, unlike coconut oil, which I can definitely smell in use), and a minimal salty kind of taste that shouldn’t be too noticeable either (yes, I tasted it for science). 

 

In terms of price point, this lube is listed on their menu as being $10. I think, for the amount of product you’re getting and how little you need, this is an absolutely phenomenal price and great value for money. I’ve barely dented the surface of this jar of lube in the month I’ve had to play with it. Overall, I’m a huge fan of this lube and I will absolutely continue to reach for it, especially for longer play sessions. It’s now a fixture of my nightstand. I highly recommend that you check it out too!

 

Important links to check out: 

The Big Lube Guide By Dangerous Lilly: http://dangerouslilly.com/lube-guide/

 

Thank you once again to The Butters for sending me this lube for free, and for giving me the opportunity to review this badass lube with full honesty.